I have been going out with Juan Manuel A.K.A Pola for a month now (Oct. 3rd) and well think are good, exept for last night, but I will get to that later. I was working at Ciber Cafe Gallegos but I´m not right now. Me and Cesar were gettting along good as friends and then one day he kissed me and we kind of started that kind of relationship. We decided to have sex and when the day came something else came up it was like that for a month anyway, one day i was horny and it was also Saturday wich was they day me and Cesar would meet. But, one again something came up and we coudn´t so that night this guy (Pola) started talking to me and he said he would walk me home i said no thanks but he still did so on the way we sat on a bench and started talking and he told me he liked me and wanted to go out with me, by the way he was drunk and kept trying to kiss me every five second, so i told him no that i was looking for a serious relationship not a sex buddy. He told me he was looking for a serious relationship too, and this time i let him kiss me, so we whent somewere and we had sex. So me thinking ok he was drunk so hes not going to remember tomorrow i whent along with everything he said. And thats how we started going out. So the next day i was at work in the morning and he was outside and some of the guys told me "OOH yor boyfriend Pola is outside" I didn´t pay any mind to them and then when i was about to leave in when i saw him so i satyed for a couple of minutes and then i didnt see him so i left. And that night he was there again, but that day Cesar also talked to me and asked me what i had wanted to talk about yesterday and i told him it wasnt important any more. Cesar and Pola are friends and like second cousins or something. Anyway one of the guys touched me one day and Pola was there and he was like "hey come outside." and he told them all of them (Luis, Antonio, Juan Jose and they rest of them) that he didnt want anyone of them touching me and if they had any debts with me to pay them. that was our third day and thats when all of the guys that hang around there knew that we were going out. Cesar found out too. But not some of the older guys because they would see me somewere and they would try hitting on me until one Sunday there was a party at the plaza and i was walking around with my mum we past infront of the town hall and they guy that were there started calling out things to me and we decided to leave so we were looking for my sister Jessa when he came up to us and he talked to my mum and i left with him we walked by the exact place and this time they cheered for him (IDKY). So that was the day EVERYONE knew we were dateing, and lately i have begun to like him, I liked Cesar for a long time but things woudnt of worked out so i told the advice he told me he took himself. If you someone in your heart it best to try to push them out with another person. So that what i was trying to do get Cesar out because it was painful, and when he found out about me and Pola he stoped talking to me he woudnt even look at me and that pissed me off cuz even tho i was trying to get him out of my heart i still liked him as a friend i liked the conversation we had. so i tryed talkeing to his mum and finaly i send him a message on Myspace.
(read from bottom up)
LAST NIGHT:
I when to the ciber cafe and Cesar was there, and while i was there Vere (my boss´s wife) told me something. First it was that some lady told her that I was going to get married in December, and that she had been woudering if it was true or not, so i told her "Man, people here sure do love to talk, people i dont know know more about my life then i do!" and she was just like yea. She also told me about Hugo that he had offered to take care of the Cyber Cafe for a few days if she would just let him burn some discs and she said okay sure then they found that what he was burning was child pornography videos and then that mutherfucker tryed to blame it on me, he said that those videos were on the computer because i put them there and Noemi was there and she said ¨NO, porque esa muchach si se ve que sabe de computadoras porque cuando you le preguntaba algo ella siempre me conestaba¨ and Vere said it too that ever time she would go see how things were she would see me either playing games or chatting but i was never ont that. And later someone tolder her thats why he got Deported because of the child pornography thing. So yea more reasons to convict him. So when Ricardo who i was waiting for got done and he left so we were sitting on a bench in the plaza (Ricardo, Fabian, and myself) haveing fun hanging out, supposevly i´m teaching them english. So, it was almost ten when Fabian left and I stayed behind with Ricardo and we were just talking and it got cold so we decided to leave and he told me he would walk me part way home i was like okay sure. So then hes like you want to do no one has to find out i was like Dude I´m going out with your friend and you have a grildfriend and your my uncle and hes like were distant relatives (his mum is my grandmas cousin) and no one has to find out i was like dude no there is only one dude i would ever cheat on Pola with and he doesnt care about me. Ricardo told me to tell him who it was so i told him and hes like ¨NO FUCKEN WAY¨ i was like yeaif he every told me lets do it i would and i told him we had already tryed but shit kept comeing up. so we got about a third of the way to my house when he said he was leaving cuz he had to pee so i was like okay and i kept going so i was four houses away from were i live (my house in on a corner and i was going down the side street), when i hear a bike behind me and ...it him. we started talking and as we go closer to my house we decided to go back and sit on the bench, our bench, and talk.
So we were good for a while until he tryed to kiss me, i dint know what to do. I wanted to kiss him back to bad but i didnt i pretened it didnt happen and we coutinued talking then he tryed to do it again and again i pretended it didnt happen. so we were good again and then he put his arm around me and tryed to kiss me again, this time we touched lips i had the urge to kiss him to hold him but i pushed him away i told him i coudnt that i was going out with his friend and he asked me why i had traded him for Pola. at that moment i felt like crying, as i do know, andf i wanted to scream at him I didnt trade you! You ignored me! You always acted like all you ever wanted to do with me was fool around! but i didn´t and then he tryed to kiss me again and this time i kissed back, i missed him i felt happy and angry and sad and disapointed. I dint want to cheat on Pola but Cesar always makes things dificult and its Cesar that i think im in love with. so we were really cold he made a fire and then sex was suggested and we did i told him to lead the way and he did exactly were me and Pola go. We had a quiky a one night stand. After words i asked him was that all he wanted me for he said no if that was all he wanted me for it would of happened a while ago im confued by that i dont know what he means. So we walked home talking about other stuff and yea.
I dont know what to do now.
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