WTF!!!!

Why the fuck would you ask me to help you with your sex life. Why the fuck do you rub it in my face that shes coming over and that you guys are going to have sex. Why the fuck would you call your self my friend only when its convenient for you? Why the fuck do you do all that. Oh my gosh! Oh, don't get the wrong idea, it´s not that I´m jealous of her. Or that I like you. It´s that I think that fat sex is disgusting. I don't want to hear what you guys do! I don't want to know shes bringing ¨Mr. Blue¨ over. Maybe after she gets it out of her twat she can stick it up your ass. You said you liked a guy before right? that means your bi. You cant stop liking guys. EEEWWWWW. You like it up the ass. Gross. I´m not jealous that shes with you and that she has sex with you because like i said i think fat sex is gross. Its that I'm jealous of you because your partner comes over. Your partner pays you attention. You get to have ¨fun¨ sex with your partner. (puke) EEEWWWW. I might get images. I wish we had fun sex but hes never available never pays me attention only when he wants a quickie. So please don't get the wrong idea. Man how i wish i could tell you i think fat sex is gross and i never liked you. But, if i did it wouldn't be fun because you would stop trying to get me jealous. And i don't want you to stop it´s amusing. Also, its funny how your like yea were friends to well continue to talk yet you never want to talk you just make an excuse ¨oh, i have to go because she coming over.¨ Really? That is so lame! But i don't care if funny. And you know what else is funny as I'm typing this you just IMed me after i told you you were a sick for telling me what you did with her, you still come back, and try again to make me jealous ¨i love being around her¨...uhm okay? Don't care. But its whatever I'm amused and that's all that matters. OH! I just noticed something remember you told me you had ¨memory loss¨ from where you ¨tried¨ to kill yourself? And remember that you told me you didn't remember where you lived so you were staying at her house? How is it that shes coming over to her own house. That is so fucking funny! Okay well that's it.

Story: Part One

This is the story of Seth Doyle, well at least a very small part of it. His whole story stretches over the cores over one hundred thousand years. You might think it’s impossible but it’s not, at least, not for a fey. You see fey can live for ever so in a sense Seth’s life was short.

3+4

11^th of May 2020 35 minutes past 5 AM

Seth woke up with the full force of the sun in his face; he had forgotten to close the curtains again, he looked at the two tall windows letting in the sunlight then he looked over at the balcony glass doors those were covered at least. He sighed and pulled the covers over his face. ‘It is too early.’ he thought. ‘Why is life not kind to me?’ It had been a long night and he was tired. He slowly got up, and walked to the kitchen. The kitchen was off to the side as was the bathroom and it had no windows so it did not get any sunlight. Seth pulled out a chair and sat; he put his head on the table and slept.

11^th of May 2020 20 minutes past 9PM

Seth awoke to someone knocking very loudly on the big, heaver, oak doors. He slowly got up and walked towards the door to open them. Ahlizahbel looked up at him angrily “And were have you been? Eh? I’ve had to serve the whole crowd by me self and you know that today is one of the busiest nights of the week.” Ahlizahbel could go on for hours and she would have if it would not have been for Rurik “Shut up. It’s only Monday.” Ahlizahbel jumped as Rurik appeared behind her. “You should be used to it by now you know.” He laughed; she just shot him a mean look and left. “What is wrong with her?” Rurik asked Seth. Seth just shrugged his shoulders and laughed “You two really do act as if you were a couple.” Rurik turned and disappeared.

Downstairs the bar was crowded with people. You could barely see 2 meters in front of yourself with all the smoke in the room. Seth walked behind the bar began to mix some drinks.

l meanwhile l

Joe Jones was helping the last customer transfer money from one account to another, and then all he had to do was close up. Everyone else was gone and soon so would this pesky person. He had never really liked other people, at least not the males; he liked to try to get with a female every now and again but, they just would not take him. He did not know why he was smart tall and good looking at least his mother and him both thought so. In reality Joe was a little under average. Joe shaked his head to clear it from all the bad thoughts he was having. Tonight he would go to a pub, and he knew the perfect one. ‘Night Rose’ he had heard some of his younger co-workers talking about it. Joe smiled; maybe he could even get a girl for tonight.

Joe started packing up his stuff, his knee hit the desk. Drat, why did he have to be so tall? He pulls his pale blond hair out of his eyes and got up, as he walked out other door he waved good-bye to the secretary, no one ever suspected that he was stealing from the bank, as soon as he got home he went up stairs his mom’s voice coming from the kitchen asking if he wanted dinner, as he walked into the room he threw his things on the bed and went to the bathroom. Joe took out his contacts and looked at himself in the mirror, he saw a strange person with anemic pale skin, and yellow eyes, he smiled seeing that he looked kind of handsome even if his teeth were painted, he walked out of the bathroom, stopping in the doorway looking back at the yellow eyes in the mirror his lean body casting a very tall and very think shadow.

12^th of May 2020 13 minutes past 3AM

Joe looked up felling someone looking at him. A cute blond looked at him a couple of meters away sitting at a table by herself. He smiled and she smiled back Joe raised his glass of alcopops, she got up and sat down at the bar a set away from him. Imminently the male bartender came up to her “And how are you, this very early morning my rose, can I get you a drink? I am on my brake.” He smiled and she smiled back. ‘Of course.’ thought Joe. ‘Of course she should go with him’ discussed Joe got up and left. ‘I will get him back.’ thought Joe, what had been his name? Oh, yes, Seth, Seth had been his name.

Joe walked up the crumbling stairs of the abandoned button factory. This is were he came to get away. Away from his mother and away from everyone. He had transformed the office as his own, it was his hideout. He got out the key to the padlock on the door and open it. Joe looked inside ‘Home, sweet, home’ he thought Standing from were Joe was one could see a big couch making out ¾ of a square. Behind that was a bookshelf behind the book shelf was a secret door that lead to other secret doors that lead to a vault were he kept the stolen money. Beyond the couch was a glass table and chair, behind a door that lead to the bathroom, and on the opposite wall there was a control panel that operated some of the machines in the factory.

Joe walked over to the bookcase and pulled out a pink book on the bottom shelf and pressed the black button. Joe quickly stepped back and watched as the shelf opened up about half a meter. He slipped inside and followed the metal tunnel to another door he punched is his code and the door opened. Joe did the same process over a few times and finally got to the last door, behind this door was were his money was. The door opened with a mechanical hiss and Joe stepped inside. Inside was all the money he had collected over five years that he had worked at the Anglo Irish Bank Corporation. He smiled “Well if she had known that I had all this money, I don’t think that she would have gone with Seth.” Joe said out loud.

12^th of May 2020 5 minutes past 5AM

Seth closed the doors to Night Rose and walked around the back ‘Well, today was fun.’ He thought as he climbed up the stairs to the studio that the owner, Ahlizahbel’s father, had let him stay in. As Seth turned the corner he saw one of the doors off its hinges’, Seth jogged to the doors and stood in amazement. Someone had flipped his bed and made a mess of his kitchen there was also what appeared to be blood on the floor. Seth went inside and bed down to look at it, it was cow blood. He got up and walked to the kitchen, following the trail of blood, he saw how the trial twisted and turned leading to the bathroom door.

Seth quickly opening the door, expecting an attack, but nothing happened. Seth turned on the light “What the-” “Dude! You are sick, man. Completely sick! What sicko would put a cow head on the toilet? Sick. Sick. Sick.” Seth turned around and saw Rurik without his glamour. “I didn’t do it! When I came in it was just like this…” Seth could hear Rurik’s hooves as he walked towards the mirror. “So, did you see what is written on the mirror?” he asked. Seth let down his glamour and glided to the mirror picking up his hair so he would not get any blood on it. On the mirror with big letters written it the cow blood it said: TO MY ENEMY- LETS PLAY A GAME, TO SEE WHO IS BETTER IF YOU CAN BEST ME THEN I WILL LET YOU LIVE AND IF YOU CANT… WELL YOU’LL BE LIKE THE COW. HOPE YOU LIKE MY GIFT. ENJOY IT. TAG YOUR IT. – QUOTIDIAN BOB. Seth laughed “Are you serious? This guy sounds like a total nerd.” Rurik cocked his head to the side “Do you know who it is?” Seth thought about everything that had happened during the past month, ending with tonight. “HAHA, I think that I do. It’s time to do something with my free time.”

15^th of May 2020 23minutes past 11PM

Seth stealth fully walked from shadow to shadow so as not to be seen. His metallic silver hair glamoured to inky black, his wings hidden, and his cold dark beauty, glamoured to avenge. He was dressed in all black, his shoulder length hair pulled back so as not to get in his way, his blue-violet eyes searched the shadows before him as he moved from his dark corner to the next dark shadow the moon shimmered on his white skin as he inched towards the other end of the shadow, he felt some one a second too late. He was pinned on the floor. “Tag you’re it.” Rurik said, Seth growled “not for long” they wrestled on the ground and then Rurik slipped out and ran into the darkness. Seth knew that he wasn’t suppose to use magik during practice, but he couldn’t help it he was tiered and he needed to sleep, he also had to work tonight. Seth teleported behind Rurik and grabbed him “Got you. Tag you’re it. I win. I’m done. No more. Okay? Okay.” Rurik laugh “Okay I think your ready for crime fighting.” Seth let go of Rurik and clasped his hand in thanks, Rurik nodded. “What are you doing?” said Ahlizahbel. Rurik jumped. “Ha! The tables have turned! Finally!” Rurik growled at her. “Oh, shut up you always do it to me, why are you getting mad?” Rurik teleported behind her and picked her up “Laters.” He said and teleported away. Seth shook his head “Why don’t you just tell her, that you like her?” Seth looked out into the night “I’M READY TO PLAY! ARE YOU READY?” He yelled into the night.

+lTO BE CONTINUED +l

XD

Oh my gosh, I am just so FUCKING HAPPY for you. You deserve all of this, I´m so glad this happened to you! I really am. You know something I´m the only one of my friends that's single now. That's sad. Mira is going to come over tomorrow. I'm going to go out with Joel I know know when tho, so yea nothing much happened I fell like I'm going to puke tho. YUCK.

Spring update

WHO THE FUCK LIGHTS UP FUCKING FIREWORKS AT FUCKING FIVE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!!!!! Good things it over now. yesterday my mum found a scorpion in the hallway she like she cut the stinger off, and like she smashed it but it was still kind of alive and like she burned it, like she put it on a paper towel and burned it, and it got me thinking...can you smoke a scorpion?! like roll it up in a blunt with some kush or something and smoke it? What would the effects be? would it be harmful? almost makes me want to do it.... Anyway I'm listening to JJdemon, can you say awesomeness? hes kind of cute too. (jjdemon.com) I love ¨The Phone Song¨ I cant wait until the video is released. Nothing much has happened besides this, uhm I might get a job at walmart. I'm going with this girl named Mira, shes my godmuther's niece. My mum says that when we were little we would play all the time, so what ever, she looks kind of goth/punk. Anyway what else.... this bra makes my boobs look weird....I hope I get the job I need money to buy a new camera USB cable. Well that's it. I´m going to go do the dishes and wash my clothes, because all I have left are skirts.

When I first met....

When I first met myself I asked myself ¨Are you alright?¨ then I looked up at myself and said ¨No, I'm not there are scary things in my head and I don't know what to do.¨ I put a hand on my shoulder and told myself ¨Don't worry things will get better, but if your scared I´ll stay here with you, forever if you'd like.¨ I got up from the dark corner i had been sitting in and hugged myself, and with tears in my eyes i told myself ¨thank you, you don't know how much this means to me.¨ I just smiled at myself and grabbed my hand ¨come on Ill take you to go met myself ¨. And hand in hand with myself I walked off to met myself. And now when ever I´m in a dark corner feeling lonely I come up to myself and help myself out of it... but I'm worried about the maximum capacity of my head.....

replay: hell

use me- digital summer

that's what i keep playing. I love this song makes me think of... well things some that I don,t really want to think about the first few lines remind me of Todd...yeah i still think about him. And I don't feel like dying when i do so i guess it´s an improvement. ¨Some rules were meant to be broken¨ I wish that I couldn't break some of the rules I have for myself, especially rules I have about Todd, well guys in general really. But hey if nothing would have happened with Todd, well I wouldn't have known what heartbreak was...wait that´s a lie. If it were not for Todd I wouldn't guard my heart as I do. And if it were not for Todd I would have suffered many many heartbreaks, so Todd were ever you are Thanks and I hope you´re happy with her. Thank for all the shit you put me through and thank for leaving me, and I mean that seriously, all of that made me a stronger person and it made think more. So now I cant love another guy. I haven´t loved anyone after you, and I still love you after all these years. It´s like I have no feeling, and for a while I did not care I was drowning, but i started drowning before you. And you did not help you made it worse. I learned to control my feeling, then I learned to minimize my feelings. And I just kept drowning, i went deeper and deeper...and no one help...and I was about to drown an angel came and offered her hand. And she started to pull me up but then I let go. And I thought she would leave like the rest, but she didn't she just offered her hand again. And again I took it and again I let go, over and over, but yet she keep offering her hand and finally, I could breath. All thanks to her I tried to forget about you with other guys, with drugs, with cutting, with alcohol, but nothing worked. What saved me was a conversation about System of A Down, and a white girl helping me with Spanish. That's my angel. Todd I thank you for putting me through hell, if it were not for you I wouldn't have met my angel. Devin thanks for being there for me you don't know how much you mean to me, thanks for saving me...I love you. You are the only person that i can say that to and mean it with my whole heart.

That's what this song makes me think of...and I just had to write it...and yes I am crying right now. But its not because of Todd its because of Devin, and how thanks to her I'm still alive. You don't know but the same day we met, earlier that day, I had already started planing my death. and you made me push it back, then when I stopped hanging with Josh stopped smoking weed, and started going to school again, we started hanging out and I thought you were just the coolest person I thought you were like my cosmic twin or something. Then we became best friends and I fell in love with you. I love your eyes just like I loved Todd´s eyes. Same with your hair. You're both crazy, you're both so bright that I'm in awe of your brilliance. Your both talented artist, both passionate about music. You guys are so alike, The one that condemned me to hell and the one that saved me. And I love you both. I always will, no matter what happens I will always love you both. Even if I continue to try to forget him, even if we stop talking. I will forever continue to love both Devin and Todd.

randomness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=834o__Pb6pc

I love this band. A ll there songs are great. Might talk to him I´m exited his cousin is arranging it. I cant believe i was starting at that one guys crotch, oh my gosh, well he had a nice size bulge, lol. Nothing much has happened, tomorrow is mum´s birthday, shes having a cook out. I wounder what will happen because I have this feeling something bad is going to happen...

bullshit horseshit and ever other kind of shit

Fucking bullshit that you only pay attention to me when i do something wrong and that you turn a blind eye on what they do you don't fucking see that they start it all you see is me.All you see is all the shit that i do wrong. You don´t fucking listen to me when i tell you something and when someone else tells you the SAME DAMN THING you´re like ¨Oh, no one told me that.¨ Bull fucking shit! Then you don't even tell your fucking kids anything let them run wild and then talk about other peoples kids. I know now that you are from here because your a fucking hypocrite. I hope to god or to whatever there is, I hope with all my strength that i NEVER become like you. You call me a bitch and crazy, but they way I am is all because of you and your husband, and at least I have the edict to not say anything about you. But one day I´m going to tell you and I think that you know it too, but when that day comes that's the day that I will snap and worse things WILL happen so if you know that day is coming get ready because I AM crazy and that's the way i was raised so remember that when i cut the strings that tie us together and that's also not the only thing I´m going to be cutting. When that day come I´m going to tell you all the shit that I never told you. I´m going to show you all the scars, all tho most are gone now and my body is accustomed to the cutting because when i cut there is no trace of it ever happening within three days, and i will show you the pages of my diaries and how you can´t really tell what is written because of all the blood. I´ll tell you all the things I coudn´t tell you all there year. I´ll tell you all the shit you don´t know. I´ll tell you how for a while i dreamed of killing people because i was so pissed and how those dreams were so horrid but im the moring when i woke up it was as if i would of had a wet dream. Murder turns me on, blood turns me on. I hope your proud of your daughter, and remeber what I am is all because of YOU!

good and bad feelings

i just keep thinking about him and its driving me crazy. My best friend is having some problems she likes this guys but shes worried it will turn out like the other guy, and i´m worried too. i don't want her to hurt, i love her so much i don't want anything to happen to her. i mean i love her to death but yea i hope that this is the guy that's right for her and i hope she´ll be happy with him.

update

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYIKD_t2jpk

(love this)

anyway-

Don't know what to do, allot of shit is going on and yea missing my little sister. Tomorrow is family day and shes not going to be here. :( but yea, that fucking bitch keeps updating her status rubbing it in my face that shes talking to him and that he doesn't talk to me, but i guess she forgot that I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!! i told her i don't care. But shes doing it to get on my nerves and after i told her i didn't like the guy she ¨loved¨, even tho i did and i miss him we had something great until she go involved but its OK i don't give a fuck about her maybe i should tell her the truth and tell her there was something between us shes going to be like i don't give a fuck but she does and how the hell is she gonna call me a whore when shes the one that has a fucking kid and the dad don't give a fuck about her or the kid shes the fucking whore but it´s whatever.

feeling

I´m confused. (no really?!)Okay I mean there is this guy he is a singer his name is Jamie Madrox and i think he´s cute you know? But saying that is just saying something what worries me is that every time I see his picture my heart starts racing and like i don't know i miss like I´m going to throw up, but not in the bad way, i don't know what to do hell i think if i ever would meet him i would throw up and then faint, but i really REALLY want to meet him. It´s never going to happen tho...but I'm happy just looking at his pictures....

a few questions

I´m destined to be alone for the rest of my life.I don't know I´ll live with it. How come i don't like any of the guys that like me? How come i don't have any feeling for anyone? How come i get bored to easily and how come i can never be happy?

alone

I've never felt more alone and misunderstood then at this moment. All this shit with my ex and my friends daughter running away brings back memories. And make me feel bad, and make me think it would be better if i were gone, and even the shit with my mum i mean how the fuck are you going to give me more responsibilities then i can handle and force me to grow up so i end up not having a fucking childhood, and then tell me that i take things to seriously, and i need to act my own age so i act like a kid and you tell me to stop acting so childish. Not only that but you try to push me out of the nest before I´m ready so i try to keep to myself and out of every ones way because all i am is a bother and finally when i´m ready to leave the nest, you chain me down so i won't leave. I don't understand you and you´ll never understand me maybe i´m too fucked up maybe you don't care. But this is worse then ever before because right now i have no one, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life. I have never wanted to die so much just walk into the darkness and never look back to close my eyes and sleep and never wake up.....and trust me i would if it were not for a few people, the people that keep me sane my best friend and my little brother and sister the only ones that really show me love and let me know I'm not alone....