that's what i keep playing. I love this song makes me think of... well things some that I don,t really want to think about the first few lines remind me of Todd...yeah i still think about him. And I don't feel like dying when i do so i guess it´s an improvement. ¨Some rules were meant to be broken¨ I wish that I couldn't break some of the rules I have for myself, especially rules I have about Todd, well guys in general really. But hey if nothing would have happened with Todd, well I wouldn't have known what heartbreak was...wait that´s a lie. If it were not for Todd I wouldn't guard my heart as I do. And if it were not for Todd I would have suffered many many heartbreaks, so Todd were ever you are Thanks and I hope you´re happy with her. Thank for all the shit you put me through and thank for leaving me, and I mean that seriously, all of that made me a stronger person and it made think more. So now I cant love another guy. I haven´t loved anyone after you, and I still love you after all these years. It´s like I have no feeling, and for a while I did not care I was drowning, but i started drowning before you. And you did not help you made it worse. I learned to control my feeling, then I learned to minimize my feelings. And I just kept drowning, i went deeper and deeper...and no one help...and I was about to drown an angel came and offered her hand. And she started to pull me up but then I let go. And I thought she would leave like the rest, but she didn't she just offered her hand again. And again I took it and again I let go, over and over, but yet she keep offering her hand and finally, I could breath. All thanks to her I tried to forget about you with other guys, with drugs, with cutting, with alcohol, but nothing worked. What saved me was a conversation about System of A Down, and a white girl helping me with Spanish. That's my angel. Todd I thank you for putting me through hell, if it were not for you I wouldn't have met my angel. Devin thanks for being there for me you don't know how much you mean to me, thanks for saving me...I love you. You are the only person that i can say that to and mean it with my whole heart.
That's what this song makes me think of...and I just had to write it...and yes I am crying right now. But its not because of Todd its because of Devin, and how thanks to her I'm still alive. You don't know but the same day we met, earlier that day, I had already started planing my death. and you made me push it back, then when I stopped hanging with Josh stopped smoking weed, and started going to school again, we started hanging out and I thought you were just the coolest person I thought you were like my cosmic twin or something. Then we became best friends and I fell in love with you. I love your eyes just like I loved Todd´s eyes. Same with your hair. You're both crazy, you're both so bright that I'm in awe of your brilliance. Your both talented artist, both passionate about music. You guys are so alike, The one that condemned me to hell and the one that saved me. And I love you both. I always will, no matter what happens I will always love you both. Even if I continue to try to forget him, even if we stop talking. I will forever continue to love both Devin and Todd.
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